AM I A WHORE?
If you are reading this, there’s a good chance you’re a whore.
Before I go any further, Kim Kardashian and I share the same date of birth. And I actually don’t mind Kim or her ridiculously over the top family. I find them entertaining and quite the guilty pleasure. But none of those things stand to reason why I am writing this blog.
In the weeks since Kanye West publicly professed his love for Kim Kardashian, the usual ‘hate’ for her has kicked into overdrive. I regularly witness disparaging tweets to Kim. She has been ‘flour-bombed’ by PETA and gossip magazines run headlines claiming she will ruin yet another mans life. But it was actually radio and television personality Charlamagne Tha God that prompted this essay. In the pilot episode of his MTV show Hip Hop POV, The Breakfast Club host says, ‘You fell in love with a hoe, Kanye’, to which his MTV co-host Amanda Seals responds, ‘Facts’.
Where exactly are these ‘facts’?
If a 2007 New York Times article is to believed, the average woman has 6.5 sexual partners in her lifetime. This is the average woman, who probably looks average, earns an average living and she is likely to have an average number of friends, family and acquaintances that actually know her name.
As far as we know, Kim Kardashian, at 31 years old, has had eight confirmed relationships. That number is slightly above average, but then again, so is everything else about Kim Kardashian.
Another often used thumbtack holding the ‘Hoe’ sign above Kim’s head is the fact that seven of those eight relationships were with celebrities of some sort.
You know who doesn’t get called a whore very often? Gwyneth Paltrow. Yet Gwyn dated Scott Speedman, Chris Heinz, Robert Sean Leonard, Brad Pitt, Ben Affleck, Bryan Adams, Crown Prince Felipe of Spain (an actual Prince), Luke Wilson and actor Justin Purefoy before marrying Coldplay front man Chris Martin.
Gwyneth is not alone in her sizable celebrity body count. Celebrities tend to date other celebrities, for some of the same reasons Black people tend to date other Black people: Your mate also knows, understands and can handle being black.
Kim Kardashian is internationally known, stalked constantly by paparazzi and spends most of her time getting paid to live her life in front of a camera. How many plumbers do you foresee surviving her world?
Or is it the sextape that qualifies Kim as a whore?
Let’s go back to Gwyn. Gwyneth engaged in simulated sex, for money. We all paid to see her naked body in Shakespeare In Love, which was filmed on a set with no less than fifteen people in the room (cameramen, lighting techs, gaffers, director, hair and make-up and at least one PA). We gave her an Oscar.
Kim and Ray J’s sextape was made after at least one year of dating. They were the only two people in the room and up until its theft from Ray J’s home, had been the only two people to see it. In fact, Kim’s family attempted to block the eventual sale of the tape – That Ray J championed.
The average person doesn’t have the desire, time or the body to make a sextape. But raise your hand if you’ve ever sent a racy picture to your love (or lust) interest. Go on, no one’s watching. The person at the desk next to you thinks you’re working and probably has no idea what you’re reading. So it’s ok, be honest because you’re definitely not alone.
According to a recent Mashable article, of the 47% of adults in England who say they regularly text their significant others, 10% admit to sending NSFW material. And those are just the ones who admit it. Those filthy Brits.
In all seriousness, as women it’s a much riskier endeavor for us to label Kim a whore. Should we allow that label to stand, we’re also saying its ok to call ourselves – or anyone else with a healthy dating life – whores. For men, the labeling of Kim is a tad more comical, for one reason only.
How many guys do you think your girlfriend dated before she found you? The woman you’re going home to tonight hasn’t had professional camera crews or paparazzi following her around for the past five years. Her dating history – her ‘whoring’ – has been done in private, probably only traceable via her girlfriends drunken ramblings or old MySpace pictures…if she hasn’t deleted her account already. Which reminds me…
Perhaps every woman reading this has had less than 6.5 partners, has never texted a NSFW pic and would never date someone in the public eye. But can you say the same for all of your girlfriends? Or your sisters? Or mothers? Guys, what about all the women you love? Would you label them whores?
Blogging and micro-blogging has created a culture where everyone can share their opinion on just about anything. The benefits of this are innumerable. Entire careers have been launched – some might argue mine included – from the freedom the digital platform provides. But where the slope becomes slippery is when the opinion is skewed and then presented as unsupported fact.
Kim Kardashian likes being famous. She loves the spotlight, enjoys the attention and all the spoils that come with the riches she’s amassed as a result of her fame. Some might find that obnoxious, even vain and self-serving. And it’s easy – especially if you yourself prefer a quiet life of anonymity – to dislike the Kardashian’s and their fame that has come from simply being a Kardashian.
But then say that. It’s ok to call Kim Kardashian a ham. It’s ok to not like her, not be fascinated by her, not find her attractive, or find her so attractive that all you want to do is fuck her. But what is not ok, is to call this woman a whore. Because chances are, if Kim’s a whore, then by the same standards you’re a whore too.
By Paulo Coelho